A Country Affair

This is where we are having our wedding reception. It's a barn made into a fabulous dance floor. Don't you just love the lights? They are so dreamy. I can't wait for the party!

Showered. . .

I think the reason they call it a shower, is cuz you are showered with love. I certainly felt the love at the bridal shower my friends threw for me. Val did a great job! It was so wonderful to see so many good friends, many of them that I haven't seen in a long time.

What's in the bag?

Don't you love this idea? Instead of making the dress out of paper, we made little brides out of pipe cleaner. They turned out SO cute!

Some Thoughts

1. Turned in my memo yesterday morning. It's worth 80 % of my grade for my writing class. I've been working on it for months. It was terrifying, yet liberating.

2. I love sweats. I've never had any before. Now I understand why people like them so much. They are soooooooooooo comfy. I bought two pair last week on sale at Old Navy. If I could, I would wear them every day. But don't worry, I am agianst being frumpy.

3. I have some the of greatest friends ever. God has really blessed me with wonderful people. My roommate Britt is the best. She makes me laugh on a daily basis. Jen also cracks me up, and brought me dinner on Saturday night after I have been in the library working on my paper for 10 hours. Val went and got address label for me cuz I haven't had time. She also put on the best bridal shower ever! Camille found me an apartment. Lauren let's me look at her property notes when I can't keep up, or can't pay attention. Kandis would be my surrogate if I couldn't have children (so she says). Heidi is just sweet. Kalli is taking me to the airport. I mean, aren't I so lucky! These are just the things that have happened this last week. I am so freaking blessed with good friends.

4. I LOVE Christmas music! AOL has free radio and when my Pandora runs out I listen to that. I can't get enough. It just lifts my spirits.

5. I'm so glad Allie and Chris live nearby. Every time I go over there, Allie makes me either hot chocolate or an Italian soda. Mmmmm.

6. Down comforters are the best. Every night I feel like I am sleeping on a cloud.

7. I am terrified for finals. I have so much to do.

8. I have yet to feel REALLY cold this winter. That makes me happy.

9. Thank goodness I haven't got the swine flu! I think I am safe as numerous of my classmates have and I've been exposed to the germs. But, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

10. Watched Juno for the first time this weekend. It's so cute. But, I can't watch love stories without feeling lonely. I can't wait for Joe to move here in three weeks!

Word

"Success is not measure by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds."

~Orison Sweet Marden

On The Edge.

About 27 times this week I have asked myself. . .WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why am I inflicting such stress and emotional insanity on myself? What ever possessed me to go to law school? I was sitting in class on Thursday taking a test and the whole time was just thinking about how much I hate tests. I hate them with a passion. Why do I have to prove to you what I've learned, Mr. Professor? Why does law school have to pair you up against every other student so that it's not how well you do for yourself, but how well you do compared to everyone else. Doesn't that just seem sick and wrong? The forced curve is evil. Why am I doing this again?! I feel like I am working as hard as I can, but it's not enough. Someone else is always working harder, is smarter, and studying longer. And you know what, normally I would be happy for them Good for you Mr. SUPER STUDENT. But here, that means my grades are lower. Well, now, that changes everything. Or does it? I don't even know anymore. All I know is I am tired, lonely, feel incredibly lost, stupid, and often humiliated in class. Oh why am I doing this?

Wouldn't have been so much easier to skip this whole thing? I mean, I have an AMAZING fiance who loves me, wants to take care of me, has a great job, house, and lives in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Why didn't I just stay home, get married, have babies and live happily ever after? But no. I moved away, asked him to come with me (which he is happy to do) so I could suffer this insanity! Now I feel like I'm making him suffer as he's trying to find a new job., sell is house, and move to a state that he has never lived in before. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Do I ALWAYS have to take the most difficult route in life? AH!

The only thing keeping me sane at this point is knowing that GOD wants me here. I can't deny the feelings I got when I asked whether to come to school or not. I can't deny all the blessings he has given me to get me here. And it makes me feel better to know that Joe has had that confirmation too. BUT WHY?! What is all this for? Why does it have to be THIS PAINFUL PATH?!

OK. That's enough for now. Sorry for the rant. Feel free to just pass by it and ignore everything you just read. I'm sure I'll feel better in three years, when it's all over.

I Hate Long Distance Relationships

This is my favorite part of the day.